Understanding Sexual Dissociation: Reclaiming Sexuality for Women Who Feel Objectified

Sexual dissociation is a complex and challenging issue that many women face, particularly those who have felt objectified and have come to see sex as a means to an end. This blog aims to shed light on this phenomenon and offer a path toward healing and reclaiming one’s sexual self. For many women, the experience of sex can become disconnected from their sense of self and their desires. Instead of being a mutual and pleasurable act, sex can feel like a duty performed solely to please a partner. This can lead to feelings of objectification, where women feel like they are nothing more than a vessel for their partner’s pleasure, leading to loneliness, sadness, decreased self-worth, and a disconnection from their sexual being. As human beings, we have inherent needs and desires. Just as we do not feel guilt or shame when we sleep because we are tired or eat because we are hungry, we should not feel shame in seeking sexual pleasure when we are aroused. Experiencing pleasure is a fundamental human right. However, various factors such as trauma, emotional or psychological issues (like anxiety or depression), strict upbringing, stress, fatigue, emotional distancing in relationships, and objectification can all lead to sexual dissociation. Sexual dissociation can manifest in several ways, including:

• Lack of desire
• Lack of arousal
• Emotional numbness
• Physical disconnection
• Avoidance of sexual activity
• Negative self-perception

Understanding these signs and symptoms is the first step towards addressing and healing from sexual dissociation. The causes of sexual dissociation are multifaceted and can include the following:

• Trauma: Past experiences of abuse or sexual violence can lead to dissociation as a protective mechanism.
• Emotional or Psychological Issues: Conditions such as anxiety or depression can diminish one’s ability to connect with their sexual self.
• Cultural and Religious Beliefs: Strict or repressive beliefs about sexuality can create shame and disconnect.
• Stress and Fatigue: High levels of stress or exhaustion can lead to a lack of sexual desire and connection.
• Relationship Issues: Emotional distancing and unresolved conflicts can impact sexual intimacy.
• Childbirth: The physical and emotional changes after childbirth can affect one’s sexual desire and connection.
• Objectification: Feeling used or valued solely for sexual purposes can lead to dissociation.
• Emotional Disconnect: A lack of emotional intimacy in a relationship can lead to physical and sexual disconnection.

Healing from sexual dissociation requires understanding its causes and symptoms and taking proactive steps toward reconnection. Here are some strategies that can help:

• Seek Therapy: Professional therapy, especially trauma-focused approaches like CBT or CPT, can provide a safe space to explore and address the underlying issues.
• Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help reconnect the mind and body, fostering a more profound sense of presence and awareness during sexual experiences.
• Open Communication: Discussing your feelings and needs with your partner can help rebuild emotional and physical intimacy.
• Self-Compassion: Cultivating self-compassion and recognizing your right to pleasure and sexual fulfillment is crucial in overcoming feelings of shame or guilt.

Reconnecting with your sexual self and embracing your sexuality without shame is vital for fostering fulfilling and healthy sexual experiences and relationships. By understanding the causes and symptoms of sexual dissociation and taking steps to address them, you can begin to heal and reclaim your sexual being. Sexual dissociation is a challenging but not impossible issue. With awareness, support, and self-compassion, you can rediscover the joy and connection in your sexual life, honoring your needs and desires as a fundamental part of your humanity. My name is Tatiana Scharr, I am bilingual (English/Spanish), Licensed Clinical Social Worker who is passionate about the dignity and worth of the individual. I have been working with individuals with a wide variety of traumatic experiences since 2017. I am currently a doctoral candidate in Clinical Sexology, which allows me to provide sex therapy under supervision by a nationally Certified Sex Therapist. I describe my therapeutic approach as simple and straightforward; I believe that therapy is a collaboration where the basic principles are mutual trust, positive regard and unconditional support. Learn more about Tatiana: caringtherapistsofbroward.com/staff/tatiana-scharr