Therapists Share Their Top Recommendations for Happiness
Recommendations for happiness are here for you. Without realizing it, most people seek therapy because they are unhappy with their lives. They may be unhappy because their anxiety is causing them to lose sleep. They may be unhappy because they are fighting with their spouse on a regular basis. When you meet with a counselor or therapist a common issue you will probably work on is how to find happiness in your life.
Our team of therapists got together to share with you their top recommendations they make to clients on recommendations for happiness.
# 1 Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP, NCC
Being happy means different things to different people. It’s important you explore what being happy means to you. For most of my clients, since I specialize in helping people overcome depression and anxiety, being happy means finding symptom relief from overthinking, feeling sad all the time and not being able to function in relationships or at work. There are general three recommendations I make to my clients on ways to bring more happiness into their lives.
1. Get into relationships that you love and feel loved
This doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship, though having a healthy love connection can certainly help. Surrounding yourself with people you love can bring happiness into your life. One thing people often do when they feel sad is isolate. This is the opposite of what it is recommended. Having a tribe you can turn to when you’re feeling down is exactly what you need.
2. Find a job/career/business that makes you excited to go to everyday
People used to find a job, stay in that job for 30 years and retire with a pension. Happiness at work wasn’t a factor that was considered. In current times, being happy at a job is almost a requirement to being happy in your life. If you aren’t content with your job, find a new job. Life is differently not that simple; however staying in a job you hate in the long run isn’t the answer either. Find a job/career/passion/business you can get behind and take the steps to achieving it. Enroll in that business class you have been putting off. Start a side gig to make extra money. We spend so much of our lives at work, we shouldn’t be miserable while we’re there.
3. Fill your life up with activities that are fun and exciting
When you aren’t at work and aren’t spending time with loved ones, you’ll need to find some things you do with your time that fill up your “cup”. Some of my favorite hobbies include reading books, going to yoga, working out and shopping. You will want to incorporate these pleasurable activities into your daily routine. You don’t have to do these activities alone either. You can include friends and loved ones. Create a bucket list of fun activities you have always wanted to do and start planning them.
Amanda Patterson, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines, Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-378-5381 or email her at amanda@amandapattersonlmhc.com.
#2 Michelle Scharlop, MS, LMFT
When my clients want to increase their happiness, we need to figure out what happiness means to them and what would it look like. We talk about the importance of recognizing that happiness is a state of being and that each person is in control. Empowerment is important as every individual has the power to create their own happiness.
The tips I share with my clients are…
- Learn to like and love yourself
- Recognize and appreciate your value
- Have an attitude of gratitude as you focus on the positives in your life
- Stop the negative self-talk
- Spend time with people that you like, enjoy being with and value you
- Take part in meaningful activities
- Simplify your life and learn how to say no
- If something is bothering you, make a plan and take things step by step
- Exercise as it will release endorphins and make you feel good
- Visualize what you want your life to look like
- Spend time doing the things you enjoy rather than the things you feel you have to do
- Notice the positives in others and compliment and appreciate them
- Try not to hold on to grudges as forgiveness is freeing
- Relax and enjoy the pleasures that are in your life
Michelle Scharlop is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Plantation, Florida. She has over a decade of experience in working with all types of relationships such as dating, premarital, married, parent/adult child and adult siblings. As a Relationship Expert she specializes in communication issues, conflict resolution, infidelity, infertility, blended families and life transitions. If you live in Plantation, Davie, Sunrise, Weston, or any of the nearby areas, she is the Relationship Expert that can help you break down the walls, stop walking on eggs shells and have the relationship you always dreamed of having with your spouse/parent/adult child/sibling. Give her a call today, so you can get started on getting your relationship in a stronger, happier place.
#3 Rebecca Rowe, LCSW
I think one of the most common barriers I hear daily to one’s own happiness and sense of fulfillment and joy is comparing their life to their friends, family, peers, person they met once but haven’t seen since, frenemies from high school, etc. There is something so powerfully upsetting about feeling like other people are out there, living their best life, while we are sad and lonely at home in our pajamas watching Netflix. In fact, I have recently seen multiple studies proposing the idea that people who spend more time on social media sites end up feeling more depressed. In much of the research, they suggest that the reason for that feeling may be that many social media pages serve as a “highlight reel” of peoples’ lives. They post their most fulfilling, exhilarating, and adventurous moments only. So while scrolling through, we are all seeing a summary of the best moments of each person’s day, without all the struggle and strife. Cue comparison fueled heartache.
So how are we supposed to stop comparing ourselves to others in a world suffocating us with messages about being fiercely competitive and better than the rest? Fabulous question, I’m glad you asked. The beauty of that answer, is that it is up to each of us to decide. You have the power within yourself to decide how you will work on being less concerned about others and more fully YOU. Maybe for you, that means taking a break from the comparison machine that is social media. Maybe it means reading books like The Gifts of Imperfection to learn to accept yourself as you are. Maybe it means writing a note to yourself in lipstick on the mirror that reads I Am Good Enough. The power lies in your ability to transition your ideas of happiness from relative to absolute: I will be happy and fulfilled on my own, regardless of whether I feel happier or more fulfilled than others. Standing in your own peace and power, whether you are standing there alone or with someone you love, has the power to transform your life. The next time you find yourself comparing your experiences, efforts, or joys to another, ask yourself “what is my intention?”. If it is to learn and grow from the experiences of someone you trust and admire without feeling inadequate or “less than”, by all means carry on. But if it serves to feed your feelings of self doubt, insecurity, or not measuring up, consciously or subconsciously, for the love of you and all the good inside you, stop. Shift you attention to something that fills you will love and joy and never look back.
Rebecca Rowe is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a private practice in Northwest Indiana. She works extensively with adult children of parents with personality disorders on topics related to overcoming doubt, unconditional love and letting go of criticism and judgement. She has the utmost respect and admiration for those struggling through their journey of love and self acceptance. To learn more about her or contact her directly, visit randrmentalhealthcounseling.com.