Fall is upon us and it’s the perfect season to “fall in love” with your partner. Though most people think of Christmas and Valentine’s Day as the traditionally romantic holidays, our team of marriage counselors and therapists has news for you. There are plenty of ways you can reignite your relationship in the autumn and it doesn’t involve the usage of “Pumpkin Spice Latte”.
Fall in love means getting the chemicals in your brain flowing. In order to do this, you may need to do things outside of your comfort zone. My list for falling in love will get your blood pumping. Try doing any or all of my recommendations and celebrate the shift in your relationship. Sometimes just spending time together, doing different activities and enjoying them together is enough to make changes in your relationship.
1. Visit a haunted house together
Nothing says “I love you and I need you” like going to a haunted house together and being scared out of your mind.
2. Carve a pumpkin together
What a great opportunity to practice teamwork than carving a pumpkin together and winning your family “Pumpkin Carving Contest”.
3. Netflix and Chill: Scary Movie Addition
Make a list on Netflix of your favorite scary movies, watch them together and let the adrenaline flow. Use that adrenaline during your “chill” part of your Netflix binge.
4. Root for his football team
Watch a football game together and root for his team or her team, depending on who is the football fan. Watching sports together shows a commitment to being involved and interested in your partner’s life.
5. Have a pie making contest
And then have a pie-eating contest. Find an impartial judge and have a bake-off. Once the pies are complete, challenge each other to a pie-eating contest.
Send a photo in of you and your significant other engaging in one of these activities to firstname.lastname@example.org to be featured in an upcoming blogpost.
Amanda Landry, LMHC, CAP decided to become a therapist while attending Nova Southeastern University. She saw the need to help people achieve the life they wanted to live, while creating a life of her own. She completed her master’s in Mental Health Counseling and started a career in the juvenile justice arena. Since then, she has started a private practice in Pembroke Pines, Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety relationship issues, and substance abuse. Amanda is a believer in holistic treatment and she practices veganism, meditation and yoga in her life. Find out more about her practice here. For a free 15-minute consultation, call or text Amanda at 954-378-5381 or email her at email@example.com.
Often times in relationships one or both people get complacent. A common misconception I find with my clients in their relationships is that the spark just remains and that the relationship is 50/50. It takes work to keep a relationship alive whether you have been together for 3 months, 3 years or 30 years. This means it’s up to both people to put in %100 all of the time and for them to get creative in their relationship.
Here are some suggestions for falling in love with your partner all over again:
1. Keep dating one another
Remember when you first started dating each other? All the fun activities, late night chats, butterflies, and learning all about each other. You may feel like you already know each other but some out of the box activities could be completing the Five Love Languages’ Quiz or reading a book together.
2. Create a love jar/box
Create a jar, box or envelope with sweet love notes for your partners. Each of you can create one for the other and start the notes with What I love about you_____ and/or what I appreciate about you is ______. You can also do the same thing with activities to do together or date night ideas.
3. Get creative
Sometimes you have to think outside the box and be willing to step out of your comfort zone. Create a bucket list of all the things you have wanted to do as a couple but have been too afraid to do. Get to know each other on a deeper level; play twenty-one questions, create a 30 day relationship challenge where you have to do one thing a day (watch the sunset, write a letter sharing why you love each other, work on a project together, etc.). Remember, it takes work and effort, so using Pinterest or google to find creative activities might help.
Stephanie Savo is a licensed mental health counselor who has been practicing therapy since 2008. She graduated with her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling from Nova Southeastern University. Stephanie has experience working with adolescents and young adults. She has been working with adolescents and young adults who experience depression, anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem and worth, lack of identity and individuality, and who want to be empowered.
Stephanie utilizes a variety of therapeutic techniques when working with her clients. She treats the person and the symptoms they are experiences rather than the label. She focuses on taking a collaborative and eclectic approach with her clients to help them get to their desired goals. Stephanie models for and assists her clients with consistent growth and personal development as she does in her own life.
The holidays are a time to spread love, see family, get together with friends, and all of the great things that come with the season. We can’t forget the running around non-stop and the stress of it all that can take a toll and be emotionally draining, especially if your relationship needs a little work. It’s time to do a few small things that can keep your relationship strong and happy while the stress is high.
The most important thing that a couple needs is communication. Not about kids, work or house stuff but the things that matter as you grow older together. Your dreams, hopes for the future, thoughts of tomorrow, things that you want in your life moving forward. Many times you forget that your partner needs to be a part of your dream so they can also be a part of your future.
When was the last time that you and your partner touched? Not just a pat on the butt or a quick hug good-bye, but a touch for no reason. A hug that says, “I care about you” and “You’re important”. What about a warm snuggle while you watch TV instead of sitting across the couch from one another? If you can’t remember the last time, then you need more physical contact. Give a hug and hold each other for 20 seconds every day and don’t let go, see how that makes you feel. Touch with no pressure for it to lead to sex. When you don’t have expectations, it may eventually lead to a more sexual touch down the road.
3. Ask for what you want
Expressing to your partner what you want and need is so important. When you lose connection, sex and intimacy can drop fast. Sexual needs are just as important as emotional or physical needs. Have Q&A with your partner, ask what turns them on, what turns them off, what makes them feel loved and desired. Share your fantasies and offer to act them out. Make sure to be specific. Explain what type of foreplay, like more kissing or that you enjoy dirty talk. When you ask for what you want, you will get a greater sexual experience because you aren’t just going through the motions for someone else but are allowing yourself to feel good as well.
4. Take some couple time together
Go on a date weekly. Go to the beach, walking holding hands. Buy a naughty bedroom game to play to spice it up. Save money on your water bill and shower together and take turns soaping each other. Grab a picnic lunch and go to a park on a Sunday afternoon.
There are many things that can be done to rebuild the love and affection you have for your partner if you feel yourself falling out of love or if you just need to reboot your desire. Make sure you do something at least once a week and water your relationship to allow it to grow.
Dr. Stacy is the founder of Creating Intimacy Coach, Inc. She got involved in the field of Clinical Sexology because of her passion for helping people better connect and experience the best sexual intimacy with themselves and with their partner(s). She holds a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality, a Masters degree in Clinical Sexology and is a Certified Sex Coach. Dr. Stacy is a member of WASC (World Association of Sex Coaches), and of the ACS (American College of Sexologists), which shows she has earned top credentials in her field. She also has a BA in Psychology and is a Registered Diagnostic Medical & Vascular Sonographer.
Since 2006, in addition, Dr. Stacy has been a consultant selling adult novelties and has had the pleasure of educating many men and women in a fun, positive approach to love, romance and in all aspects of sexuality. Her education and personal spiritual and sexual journey, including life experience uniquely enables her to help you move in a positive direction to face the challenges that may lie ahead and to achieve your goals. Sex Coaching is designed to help women, men, and people of any sexual orientation or gender address their concerns about sexuality, sexual function and sexual expression.
If you are interested in a private one to one session to discuss a concern in greater detail, you can contact her at 561-899-7669. She offers a complimentary 15 minute consult and then if you feel her services would be helpful, you can book an appointment. Dr. Stacy has an office in Lake Worth & West Palm or you can stay in the privacy of your own home and have the sessions by phone, Skype or FaceTime, which can be just as valuable.